


Don't want to close my eyes

by stececilia



Series: Ways Marcus Returns [3]
Category: The Exorcist (TV)
Genre: Attempted Sexual Assault, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Drunkness, M/M, Mouse tired of Tomas' moping, Tomas: a lost puppy, alcohol to cope, fleeing, marcus to the rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 14:03:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20116294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stececilia/pseuds/stececilia
Summary: Tomas is having trouble coping with Marcus leaving him and in his emotional distress becomes a target to an unsavory bar patron. But thankfully God is watching out for him.





	Don't want to close my eyes

**Author's Note:**

> So fair warning this is a darkish story with a happyish ending. Please read the tags! This is set at the end of season 2.
> 
> Disclaimer: Again please read the tags! This story does contain a rape attempt due to date rape drugs. While no full penetrative rape takes place, it does have other aspects of sexual assault. Could possibly be triggering, so please take care if you decide to read. 
> 
> Title comes from a verse in the "Don't want to Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith

"There you are." Mouse said walking over to Tomas and sitting in a chair across from him. Tomas just looked up at her as she said, "How many have you had?"

Tomas shrugged saying "Maybe 2 or 3. Not quite drunk enough yet."

"Hmm look what say we get out of here and get some rest. You look exhausted."

"No." Tomas said simply drinking his beer.

"Tomas you haven't had a decent night sleep in a long time...you need to keep up your strength so you can use your gift."

"Fuck this gift." Tomas muttered petulantly setting his glass down and looking into it.

"Tomas come on...let's just."

"I said no!" Tomas looked at her then rubbed his eyes.

"So what? You want to drink till you pass out is that it?"

"It helps. I don't want to close my eyes. I don't because...the things I see...and he..."

"Oh for fucking sakes!" Mouse growled standing up and planting her hands on the table with some force. "He is gone! He is not coming back! It has been 4 months Tomas. He abandoned us. He abandoned you! Get over him! Get your act together and be an exorcist. Would Marcus want to see you like this? Did all his training lead up to this?"

"What does it matter! He trained me to not give up and yet...so what's the point."

Mouse growled and throwing her hands up said, "I am done. For 4 months I have let you have your pity party but this is enough. I know you loved him, hell so did I, but Marcus Keane is incapable of love. All he knows is how to run away and how to hurt! If you miss that man so much find someone like him and fuck him! I don't care. Just get your act together Tomas. Stop being selfish. You have lives to save. You have a gift that can save lives and all you do is use but not replenish your strength."

Tomas just looked down at his beer not responding when Mouse said “Whatever!" she turned and left muttering to herself and pulling out a box of cigarettes.

Tomas sat there taking in everything Mouse said and knew she was right. But even after 4 months his leaving still hurt. He still had the nightmares, the visions, in fact they were worst now...they happened the minute he closed his eyes.

At night when he would wake up from them in a panic, he would not feel the warm hands of Marcus soothing him, the calm and strong voice telling him it was all right. Now all he got was a voice asking if he was all right then telling him to go back to sleep.

"Why Marcus..." Tomas whispered downing his beer starting to feel the pleasant buzz of drunkenness take affect but knew it wasn't enough, not yet.

"Hey you all right?" A gentle voice asked as Tomas looked up seeing a pair of brilliant green eyes looking at him. He leaned back seeing the eyes belonged to a man older than him but younger than Marcus with finely cut brown hair wearing a blue shirt and black jeans.

"I guess..."

"Couldn't help hear the missus yelling at you."

"Sorry about that."

"She your girlfriend?"

"No friend."

"Here let me get you some water."

Tomas watched the man go and staring at him realized that he had a similar build to Marcus but was a bit broader in the shoulders and waist. However, his muscular make up was similar to that of Marcus as was his face.

Tomas thought about what Mouse said about fucking someone that looked like Marcus to fill the void but Tomas knew he couldn't. Tomas knew that he would only break his vow to Marcus.

"Here drink this. The name is Mike by the way." Mike said setting the water down in front of Tomas and pulling the empty chair next to him.

Tomas took the glass and drank it not realizing how thirsty he was for something other than beer. "Thanks. Tomas."

"So what was your friend berating you about?"

"It's a long story..."

"I have all night."

"It would take more than that."

"Well I know that someone left you?"

"Yeah...someone I cared about...someone who I thought cared about me..."

"Boyfriend?"

"No more like really close friend...maybe eventually but now I don't know...now...it doesn't matter." Tomas said softly drinking more of the water starting to feel the world become unstable. Tomas leaned back blinking, his eyes not seeming to focus.

"Well it seems to me anyone who left someone like you...doesn't deserve you."

"Maybe...perhaps I didn't deserve him...Marcus was his name...maybe if I was better or something...I don't know. Look I appreciate the water and all but I need to go...I think I am starting to feel the alcohol." Tomas commented standing up when he stumbled some only to be caught by Mike.

Mike wrapped one arm around his waist pulling him close saying "Whoa there. You okay?"

"Yeah...the world is moving..." Tomas slurred feeling his surroundings become unfocused and limbs feel heavy like lead.

"Look my friend owns this place and he has a room in the back. I will set you there and go find your friend. I'll let her know you are there."

"No I..." Tomas started to say trying to push away when Mike cupped Tomas' face. Tomas instantly looked at him seeing him blurry but also thinking it was Marcus. "Marcus?"

"You need to rest." Mike said gently stroking his cheekbone with his thumb as Tomas felt himself instinctively turn into the touch.

Mike turned Tomas' face to his and said against his lips "Let me take care you. I will put you somewhere safe..."

Tomas felt a pair of lips against his and opened his eyes saying "Marcus..."

"He is gone but I am here. I will make you forget all about him." Mike said nuzzling Tomas as Mouse came in right at that moment.

She saw Tomas in the arms of another man and watched the scene seeing Tomas leaning into the man's touch who was gently caressing Tomas' neck and kissing it.

Mouse shrugged and said to herself "Maybe that's all he needs." she walked to the bar and waved down a bartender.

Mike led Tomas towards the bar when he said, "Hey Gary got the key?"

An older man who was standing at the cash register tossed him one, as Mike caught it and opened the door at the back of the bar. Mouse watched the man lead Tomas away and shook her head.

Mike closed the door and carried Tomas through a beaded curtain to a twin size bed. He set Tomas on the bed on his back as Tomas laid there sprawled eyes closed.

Mike climbed onto the bed and straddled Tomas kissing his neck and slowly undoing his shirt. Tomas tried to move his limbs realizing he couldn't but did turn his head away. "Please...stop...I...Marcus..."

"Look Marcus isn't here anymore. He was a bastard that abandoned you. It is just I. I will give you a better time than Marcus ever could." Mike said with a smile when he kissed Tomas opening his shirt fully.

Tomas tried to struggle but felt weak as tears started running down his cheeks. Mike left his lips and started kissing down his neck and chest as Tomas felt like he was floating away but kept whispering out Marcus' name.

"Man Marcus was a fool to let you go...you are gorgeous." Mike said with grin as he started undoing Tomas' belt.

"Please stop...please..." Tomas murmured weakly, again trying to shift his body but feeling like it was impossible.

Mouse downed her glass of whiskey looking at the door when a voice said, "Where is he."

Mouse turned and said "Marcus."

"I said where is he?"

"Why do you care? You left him." Mouse said simply leaning against the bar and looking up at her former mentor.

"Damn it Mouse, I think he is in trouble."

"I don't think so."

Marcus leaned forward saying "God told me to find him. God led me here. He spoke to me Mouse...told me that I need to keep Tomas safe."

"Yeah after you left him?"

"That doesn't matter! Tell me where he is." Marcus growled planting his hands against the bar on either side of Mouse.

"He is getting over you that is where he is."

A man next to her snorted as Marcus turned to him saying "Have something to say?"

"Nothing but if it is the man I think you are talking about then he's in there." the man nodded to the door where Mike and Tomas disappeared to.

"What?" Marcus inquired confused as to what this man was saying.

"Excuse me are you two responsible for that young Hispanic man that was led away?" a soft voice asked as Mouse, Marcus, and the man looked over seeing a woman standing there with a guy.

"Yes." Marcus said getting more annoyed by the minute that everyone else seemed to know where Tomas was and wasn't telling him.

"You may need to go check on him. He didn't look too good. I think that man may have done something to him."

"You mean drugged his water." The man at the bar said as they all looked at him.

"What!" Marcus exclaimed looking at Mouse who looked equally confused and concerned.

"That guy put something in your pal's water. Next thing you know the young man is all drugged out and being led away."

Marcus was already moving to the door when the woman said, "You let him!"

"Hey how a man gets laid is none of my business."

"You monster! I am calling the police!" The woman said pulling out her phone.

Mouse heard this and downing her drinking said, "Shit. Marcus!"

Marcus opened the door and racing in said "Tomas!" he rushed through the beaded curtain and then towards Mike. "Get off!" Marcus shouted grabbing the back of Mike's shirt and tossing him aside.

Mike slammed against the wall grunting in pain as Marcus rushed to Tomas kneeling down. "Tomas!"

Tomas opened his eyes and said "Marcus..."

Marcus nodded and said "I’m here darling...it's all right now." Marcus looked down seeing Tomas' shirt open, pants down to his mid thigh but underwear still on. Marcus stood up and turned to Mike saying "You bastard!"

"You're one to talk! You left him! You left in the hands of that bitch that treated him like shit. I was just doing what you were too chicken shit to do!"

Marcus clenched his fists when Mouse raced in saying "We need to get out of here the police are coming."

Marcus turned and fixed Tomas best he could scooping him up in his arms. Marcus raced past Mouse who looked at Mike and kicked him across the face. "Bastard." Mouse growled following Marcus out the back door.They climbed into Mouse's truck and left just as the police showed up.

They drove in silence as Marcus held Tomas in his lap saying, "Tomas come on...wake up."

Tomas again opened his eyes saying "Marcus...what happened...I..."

"Shh. It's all right."

"I'm sorry...I told him no…I..." Tomas said softly tears dripping down his face adding, "I missed you...why did you leave me..."

Marcus pulled Tomas close saying, "I was an idiot. I am so sorry Tomas. So sorry. I will never leave you again."

Tomas just took a deep breath saying, "I feel weird..."

"You were drugged. Probably with a common date rape drug." Mouse said in a tight voice glancing over to them then back at the road.

"You were supposed to be watching him!"

"I am not his babysitter Marcus! He is not a child."

"Damn it Mouse you knew he was emotional in that bar...you know that is easy target for men like that."

"Hey it looked like he wanted it."

"Even so did you think about the aftermath of it?"

"Yeah he would be over your sorry ass." Mouse spat gripping the steering wheel tight.

"He was almost raped Mouse." Marcus exclaimed pulling Tomas closer.

"I know." Mouse said softly as Marcus just shook his head.

"Whatever, it is done. Thankfully I got there in time. Hopefully he won't remember."

"He may remember some of it. Bits and pieces." Mouse said after a few minutes.

"Great another trauma to add to his psyche."

"Won't be the last."

"You are lucky I got there in time. How would you feel if I wasn't? Huh?"

"I get it Marcus! God just let it go!" Mouse said in a dangerous tone as Marcus glared at her then turned looking out the window.

They drove in silence with Tomas breathing heavily but steadily in Marcus' lap. "We should stop somewhere..."

"No we need to get out of the state. It will be safer." Mouse advised when suddenly Marcus heard Tomas make a gagging sound.

"Mouse pull over."

"What?”

"Pull the fuck over!"

Mouse looked over and saw Tomas' chest heaving and said "Shit." they pulled over as Marcus opened the door and quickly got out with Tomas who fell to his knees vomiting.

Marcus knelt next to him saying "That's it get it all out. I got you luv." he rubbed Tomas' back as Mouse walked over with a towel and water bottle she found in the back.

Marcus took it and wet the towel cleaning Tomas' face. Tomas leaned against Marcus heaving and crying as Marcus said, "It's all right now. I got you."

"Don't leave me please..." Tomas cried gripping Marcus' jean clad thigh and sleeve of his leather jacket.

"I won't."

Mouse leaned against the truck saying, "This is a mess."

Marcus wiped Tomas face and brow saying, "For once I agree with you. You good Tomas?" Tomas just nodded as Marcus helped Tomas up and got back in the truck.

They continued driving as Tomas rested against Marcus' side. "Marcus?"

"Sleep Tomas I will be here when you wake up." Marcus said gently covering Tomas with his jacket.

"Don't want to close my eyes...the darkness it..."

"I will be here to fight it Tomas. Just close your eyes." Marcus said softly kissing his forehead as Tomas nodded.

"Promise?" Tomas asked in a small weak voice.

"Promise." Marcus whispered as Tomas rested his head against Marcus' shoulder and chest closing his eyes and allowing the familiar steady breathing and heartbeat lure him into a deep empty sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ending note: If you ever suspect someone's drink has been roofied or see that it has (even yours) and it is safe to do so, either inform the person, the bartender, or police. Should you ever leave your drink unattended, especially in a bar or club setting, get a new one. Don't take the risk. 
> 
> If you or someone you know becomes a victim to this or sexual assault, please reach out to the police, hospital, your local DV/SV agency, or the National sexual assault hotline 1-800-656-4673. 
> 
> You do not have to go through the aftermath alone. Remember rape is never your fault.
> 
> Please like and comment if you wish! Both are always appreciated! Thanks!


End file.
